That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
