Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
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