I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
There's always time for handjobs
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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