her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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