Is it normal to miss your booty call?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
