Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
