I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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