I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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