If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
