Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
