pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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