I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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