I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
