I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
