Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
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