what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
