i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
