just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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