terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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