90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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