there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
