I hope mine doesn't look like that
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
