Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize