Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
