He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
