He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
