I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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