the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
