she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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