i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I could fuck to npr.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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