OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize