I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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