I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
