I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
