Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
There's always time for handjobs
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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