i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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