this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
