What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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