life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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