Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Holy sore nipples Batman
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
