Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
