She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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