Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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