i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize