Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
