I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
NoShamevember. You game?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
