she was so not down for the gang bang
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
