Already got asked if we're dating
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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