it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
