You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
