She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
