Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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