people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
