I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
