I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
