instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
