im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize