SEEEEXXX PLEASE
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
