he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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