the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
