We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
