Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
