Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
