Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
