"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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