So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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